writing
Working on a new story is such an odd experience. I know the story in wide sweeps. I know what I want to happen, but the blank screen stares at me and my gut clenches in terror. What if it’s crap? What if I’ve lost it? What if I choke mid way through? So for the first while, possibly hours, I sit frozen, staring into space trying to marshal my thoughts, or I play Solitaire, or desperately surf the web trying not to deal with the impending work. It’s a ridiculous waste of time, but it’s the same every time. I put off doing any writing until there is really nothing left to do but dive in and hope for the best.
I’m not saying that the story writes itself, but a certain amount of what happens is beyond my control. I write it down and watch it unfold Of course, I can change whatever I like in the rewrite phase, but during the first draft I like to try and write fast enough that I don’t actually think about what I’m putting down on screen or paper. That way I won’t have time to doubt the words. It’s a strange race to outpace my brain with my fingers, that usually works, but occasionally I actually see the words and a little niggling doubt will creep in and I’ll have to distract myself from looking any further.